


that's okay with me

by kangchanhee



Series: 24 days of christmas 2k18 [13]
Category: NCT (Band)
Genre: Acephobia, Asexual Character, Asexuality, Bad Writing, Break Up, Coming Out, Crying, Developing Relationship, Kinda, M/M, Past Relationship(s), Study Date, Studying
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-12-17
Updated: 2018-12-17
Packaged: 2019-09-21 12:43:25
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,476
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17043959
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/kangchanhee/pseuds/kangchanhee
Summary: perhaps doyoung doesn't hate jungwoo as much as he thought he did





	that's okay with me

**Author's Note:**

> i've got no clue why the fuck my writing's so shit lately, i'm sorry

“Tell me, why do you dislike him so much?” Taeyong asked his friend who had been ranting to him for almost twenty minutes now, still not making a lot of sense. “ it's not like he's done anything to you. It's every man for himself out there. We all know what he's like, so it's literally their fault at this point,” Taeyong sighed loudly annoyance.

“He makes everyone think that they will be different! He hasn't done anything to me but the guy scares me! I don't want him to start making moves on me,” Doyoung frowned. “Imagine the absolute lack of empathy a person must have to dump people twice a month!” he sat down and just heard wildly, almost hitting Taeyong.

“Do you think you are going to fall for him? Is that at? Make the damn project with him and calm down,” Taeyong snapped and sighed. He, of course, had a point but Doyoung wanted Taeyong to agree with him. The younger was fuming by now. “Text him and choose a time when to meet.”

“No, didn't text me first,” Doyoung stubbornly argued. Even he understood now that he was just being silly and foolish but that boy was too far in now to back out. That was a bad decision because Taeyong, being absolutely done with Doyoung’s bullshit, grabbed the younger’s phone. Doyoung loudly protested but Taeyong texted Jungwoo before the younger snatch the phone from his hands.

 _Doyoung:_  
hi, this is doyoung. i was wondering when we could meet up and work on the project?

 _Jungwoo:_  
oh, hi! i was about to text you actually :D i’m free whenever you are. we could work at the library or at that coffee shop near it?

 _Doyoung:_  
the library’s alright. so tomorrow after lectures? my last one ends at 4

 _Jungwoo:_  
mm, mine ends at 3 so i’ll see you there. should i take some coffee for you?

 _Doyoung:_  
i don’t think we’re rly allowed drinks in the library

 _Jungwoo:_  
i have my ways ;) do you want anything? on me

 _Doyoung:_  
nah, thanks tho

 _Jungwoo:_  
<3

“See? It wasn’t that bad, was it now?” Taeyong asked, raising an eyebrow, achieving the ultimate ‘I said so’ look. Though Doyoung didn’t quite agree with what the older said. It was exactly just that bad and even worse in his mind (for future reference: his mind didn’t exactly make the most sense). “All you’ve got to do now is not fall for him.”

***

Doyoung dreaded the next day. He didn’t even understand why; Taeyong had been right - all Doyoung had to do was not fall for Jungwoo and that was a fairly easy task, the boy wasn’t about to fall for someone who definitely would break his heart. Yet the deep-rooted hatred somehow made Doyoung anxious. He wasn’t planning to be rude but for some reason, seeing Jungwoo flirt with the librarian made Doyoung angry. And he knew that he shouldn’t care - everyone knew about Jungwoo’s reputation and it wasn't him but Doyoung had his morals.

“Don’t we have a project to do?” Doyoung asked shamelessly, coming into the library. The librarian seemed annoyed while Jungwoo smiled widely and made his way over to the table that he had chosen to sit at, without saying any last words to the man that looked at the boy’s ass as he was walking. Doyoung was annoyed. Of course, Jungwoo’s mind wouldn’t be on the project anymore. The older couldn’t do anything but frown disappointedly.

“I started a bit already but I didn’t want to do too much without you. We should divide the tasks and then work on our parts,” Jungwoo softly said. “What’s your email? I’ll add you to the doc. Actually, here, write it in,” the younger boy passed Doyoung his computer with an open Google Docs file. Doyoung was actually quite impressed because what Jungwoo had done wasn’t only ‘a bit’ but actually a lot. Maybe getting him as a partner - only in a project! - was a good idea.

“It looks good,” Doyoung muttered, not wanting to admit it out of his stupid prejudice. “I think I can do the example things and general research? I’ll start with the examples though,” Doyoung hummed and took out his laptop. “If that’s alright with you?”

“Yeah, sounds great,” Jungwoo smiled _flirtatiously_ and continued writing on his computer. Doyoung couldn’t understand if he was just being paranoid or if the boy had actually tried to flirt with him. To be completely sure, Doyoung put in his earphones and started working. He _tried_ not to glare at Jungwoo every time the younger boy gave a smile either to the librarian or anyone else but it didn’t really work out too well.

In an uncertain amount of time, Jungwoo lightly tapped on the older boy’s arm, trying to get his attention to him. Doyoung jumped in surprise, which got out a cute smile and a giggle out of the younger boy. “Can you check what I’ve written? So you agree with it and stuff?” Jungwoo asked, suddenly composed again but not removing his hand from the older’s arm.

“Mm, yeah, sure,” Doyoung said, slightly embarrassed by his reaction. The boy opened the document and read over it - as much as he wanted to deny it, Jungwoo was pretty smart and did a great job. Probably a scholarship student, Doyoung wouldn’t be surprised. “It’s good,” Doyoung said. If it was Taeyong or any of his friends sitting next to him, he would probably have gone on longer about how well it was written but the boy didn’t feel like he was ready to say all that to Jungwoo of all people.

“Ah, okay, thanks,” Jungwoo smiled and only now removed his hand from Doyoung’s. “Share your doc with me, too, alright? I’ll check it later,” Jungwoo hummed and returned to writing. Doyoung stared at the computer in front of him for a little bit, then put his earphones back in and continued writing as well.

***

A week had gone past and they had met up almost every day to work in the library together. Surprisingly enough, they hadn’t actually spoken normally. The whole project talk didn’t count as actually speaking because it was just about what to do and how to do it. Doyoung was quite happy about the turn of the events since he had absolutely no want to do any speaking with a person like Jungwoo.

This evening was different though. The library that usually was open until late at night was closed because of a gas leak in the building nearby so now Doyoung was on his way to Jungwoo’s apartment. The older wasn’t necessarily stoked about it as Taeyong got to hear multiple times that day. The only advice he had got from his friend was “don’t be an idiot” and “don’t be a pussy”. Even though it didn’t sound like the best thing, Doyoung knew that was the only thing he’d get out of Taeyong.

When Doyoung finished the last flight of stairs, he had expected to have to knock but instead, he was already greeted by Jungwoo who was smiling sadly and another guy that strangely reminded the younger boy’s current boyfriend. Doyoung didn’t mean to intrude and was about to go back down but Jungwoo noticed him before he could and looked quite relieved for some reason.

“Ah, Doyoung, hi! Come in, I’ll be right there!” Jungwoo said, smiling unusually widely. Doyoung could immediately sense that something wasn’t right but he wouldn’t ask, at least not in front of the younger’s boyfriend. Doyoung did as he was told and made his way inside. He didn’t really know where to go, so the boy stayed in the corridor but away from Jungwoo and his boyfriend’s sight.

“Okay, Jisoo, I’ve really got to go,” Jungwoo said once Doyoung had disappeared from their view. “We had a nice time together and I enjoyed it while it lasted, so thank you for what you’ve given to me, really. It was great,” it sounded like the younger’s voice was about to crack but he didn’t let that happen. “I hope you find someone else soon. Someone who… can fulfil your needs.”

“Yeah, it was nice. I’m sorry that it had to turn out this way,” Jisoo definitely did not sound sincere. “But, uh, in school-”

“Yes, we’re saying that it was me who broke up with you,” Jungwoo sighed, sounding completely done with the other boy. “Now really, please go, I’ve got stuff to do. Don’t worry about anything… _us_ related, I understand. It’s not the first time and definitely not the last one either,” if it was possible for Jungwoo to sound mad with his soft and quiet voice, then he would be fuming by now. Without even waiting for an answer, Doyoung heard the younger closing the door loudly and then locking it behind himself.

Doyoung was hit with a sudden realization. It seemed like the guys had agreed with each other to lie about their breakup and that it wasn’t the first time. So, putting one and one together, it must’ve been that Jungwoo isn’t actually that bad as his reputation painted the boy to be. Did he lie like this every time? But why?

“Ah, Doyoung, hey!” Jungwoo said, finding the older boy. “I’m sorry for that. I had expected you to be here a few minutes later,” the younger looked as if he was on the verge of tears but Doyoung didn’t mention it, he doubted Jungwoo would want any emotional support from a guy he barely knew. “Let’s go to the living room and we can work on the finishing touches there. Do you have a time when you should be home?”

“Hey! Yeah, I can actually be here for only about an hour and a half? Two max,” Doyoung admitted. “I promised my friend that I’d help him out with his assignment as well,” he followed Jungwoo to what seemed like the living room. “So we’ll probably have to finish tomorrow and make the presentation some other day,” Doyoung concluded

“Mm, alright. Do you want some coffee or tea?” Jungwoo offered as the older sat down on the couch. “Or, uh, some cookies, I think I’ve got some?”

“No, thanks, I’m good,” Doyoung smiled politely and turned on his laptop.

“Alright. I’ll go make a coffee for myself, though, so if you rethink, then just tell me,” Jungwoo said and left the room in a hurry. Doyoung had a bad feeling that the younger might’ve started crying. Did it make him a bad person that he had to argue with himself on whether or not he should follow?

Doyoung sighed and decided for it. His conscience didn’t allow the boy to just ignore Jungwoo, especially when he might not actually be that bad of a person he tried to paint him as. The older’s suspicions seemed to be true because right out of the kitchen, Doyoung could hear the boy sobbing. Doyoung wasn’t too good at calming people down and all that but he wanted to try and not be a complete asshole.

“Hey, Jungwoo?” the older softly said, entering the kitchen. Jungwoo seemed to not have expected that because he jumped from hearing his name and quickly wiped his tears away.

“Yeah? Sorry, I… got something in my eye,” Jungwoo tried to lie, even though it sounded incredibly stupid and the younger knew that as well, especially since even though he had wiped his tears away, they were still flowing down his cheeks. It didn’t sit well with Doyoung that the younger boy was crying, crying didn’t suit Jungwoo. The older didn’t know him too well but seeing him like this made Doyoung heavily disappointed in the boy’s ex-boyfriend.

“Do… do you want a hug?” Doyoung awkwardly offered. He hadn’t really planned out how he was gonna try to calm the younger boy down. He approached Jungwoo slowly, not wanting to scare the boy away. The younger looked at Doyoung with teary eyes as if trying to decide and then nodded, closing the distance between them and hugging the older tightly.

Jungwoo put his head on the older’s shoulder and cried, even though it seemed like he was trying to suppress his sobs. Doyoung felt sorry for the younger boy. He lightly brushed the boy’s back up and down to let it be known that crying was okay and it seemed like the younger got the message because Jungwoo was now sobbing uncontrollably. Doyoung hugged the boy a bit tighter so he wouldn’t lose his balance and kept gently caressing his back. 

“I- I’m sorry,” Jungwoo choked out between his sobs.

“It’s okay, let it all out, that’s healthy,” Doyoung murmured. “It’s okay,” the older assured quietly.

***

“So, I guess I owe you an explanation for yesterday,” Jungwoo awkwardly said. The boys hadn’t done any work yesterday, Doyoung had spent his two hours just calming the younger boy down and in the end, they didn’t actually get to finish their project yesterday. “I don’t usually just cry for hours when I have someone over, it won’t be a tradition, don’t worry,” Jungwoo sadly laughed.

“You don’t have to tell me anything if you’re not comfortable with it, Woo,” Doyoung sent an uplifting smile the younger boy’s way. Yesterday they had gone on a nickname basis. It seemed like Jungwoo could be calmed by different pet names and nicknames, so Doyoung used literally all of them to make sure that the younger was okay. But Doyoung was kind of curious as to what had really happened…

“It’s okay, you should know. You spent ages handling me yesterday, this is the least I can do,” Jungwoo said, picking at his skin. “But, uh, can you promise not to tell anyone?”

“Of course,” Doyoung assured. The older wouldn’t do anything to betray someone’s trust, he wasn’t one of _those_ people. It was a dick move to let secrets out.

“Thank you,” Jungwoo smiled softly at the older boy. “Jisoo broke up with me yesterday and I’ve been dumped for already the nth time this semester alone but I guess this was kinda the time that hit harder than most, y’know? And, well, I don’t know if you’re going to believe me - I wouldn’t - but, like, I’m not the one breaking up with people? It’s just that I’ve got the reputation already, so why make someone else’s worse?” Jungwoo asked rhetorically. “And yeah, I guess… it kinda made me… break down yesterday. Sorry for that,” he apologized.

“It’s okay,” Doyoung reassured. “I’m glad you told me and that you let it all out yesterday,” the older smiled. “You don’t have to apologize, Woo.”

“It was good to get it off my chest,” Jungwoo smiled. “I guess we should do some work now.”

Doyoung nodded and took his laptop but didn’t just stay on the other couch but instead made his way over to Jungwoo and sat down next to the younger boy. Both of the boys smiled at each other softly and returned to work in the project.

“Do you think we could do something over the lunch break tomorrow as well?” Doyoung asked nonchalantly, even though it seemed like quite a big thing for him. Especially since he usually ate lunch with Taeyong and the last time his friend checked - Doyoung still hated Jungwoo. He’d have a lot of explaining to do. And a lot of ‘I said so’ looks to endure.

“Yeah, we can just revise the texts for the presentation tomorrow and then we’ll be done,” Jungwoo said with a note of bitterness in his voice that he tried to hide with a soft smile afterwards. The realization that Doyoung wouldn’t have to spend time with the younger boy wasn’t a welcome one in either of their minds.

“I think we should probably try it out some more times,” Doyoung pleaded, hoping to not sound too desperate. The older actually liked spending time with Jungwoo, even if they just did school work together. Jungwoo’s mere presence was calming and soft and that was exactly what Doyoung needed and - Oh No, perhaps Doyoung didn’t hate Jungwoo at all and was more on the… liking side of things.

“Y’know, if you want to ask me on a date, you can just ask…” Jungwoo chuckled in a sweet tone that made Doyoung’s heart melt. When had he become so weak for the younger of all people? He did have his charms, unfortunately. So, obviously, when Doyoung wanted to answer, he choked upon his words and blushed.

“I… yes, I, uh, go out with me?” Doyoung mentally slapped himself for being so awkward. He had never been so embarrassed and unconfident in his life. Well, if it was for Jungwoo, then the older could accept this new, unusual feeling.

“I’d love to,” Jungwoo smiled and rested his head on Doyoung’s shoulder while also continuing to work on his laptop. The older used this opportunity to smile as wide as he could because Jungwoo couldn’t see him now.

***

It had been a month now since the boys had started dating, which was longer than any of the relationships that Jungwoo had had in a long time apparently. Taeyong had finally accepted that the younger was going to be a part of their friend group and that he Might not break Doyoung’s heart but he still didn’t trust the boy.

Jungwoo had invited Doyoung to a dinner at his place. When the younger actually knew the recipe, he cooked pretty well, so Doyoung was pretty hopeful. But at this point, even the younger’s sweet lips were enough. The older had become, as Taeyong said, a ‘sappy bitch’ and Doyoung couldn’t even be mad because it was true. Ugh, Jungwoo’s impact.

Doyoung knocked on the door and he was immediately greeted by his boyfriend who gave him a light peck on the cheek and a wide smile. But he seemed worried about something and the older didn’t like that. His boyfriend wasn’t supposed to worry about things, not alone at least. Doyoung wasn’t going to bring it up until at least after dinner, that seemed like the smart choice.

“Come here, sit. I tried especially hard this time, so I hope you enjoy,” Jungwoo pointed at the chair he was supposed to sit at and Doyoung obeyed. He watched his boyfriend - oh, how Doyoung loved saying that Jungwoo was his _boyfriend_ \- sit down in front of him and, giving the older a sweet smile, that still had a hint of worry in it, start eating. Doyoung followed his example.

After at least seven compliments on Jungwoo’s cooking and around nine on how good his _boyfriend_ looked, they had finally finished dinner. That was when Jungwoo’s face came to the epitome of worry. Doyoung shot a concerned look at the younger boy.

“What is it, sweetheart?” Doyoung asked, taking Jungwoo’s hands into his but that didn’t seem to relax him. The older started worrying that he might’ve been wrong and that Jungwoo would actually turn around and break his heart this evening as if making it a double lie. Doyoung hated the anxious feeling that kept growing in his stomach next to where the adorable butterflies were supposed to be.

“I wanted to tell you something… and, if you’re not okay with it, it’s alright but then tell me now, instead of later please,” Jungwoo started, visibly worried. “It’s something that was the deal breaker in all my other relationships and I think I’ve avoided telling you for long enough,” the younger seemed to be on the brink of tears. Doyoung brushed his hands lightly to try to get at least some worry off of him or to encourage him. “I’m… asexual,” he finally admitted.

“That’s okay with me,” Doyoung immediately assured. The older wasn’t lying, sex in a relationship really wasn’t something that mattered the most to him. It was nice to be intimate like that but it was far down on the list of things that a relationship required. He had hands, that was enough. “Please don’t worry, it’s not a dealbreaker and I’m totally okay with it, baby,” Doyoung wanted to make sure that Jungwoo knew his stance.

“Really?” the boy seemed to not believe at first.

“Of course, sweetheart. I love you,” the words went past the older’s lips faster than he could stop them. It was true but Doyoung hadn’t meant to say them this early. It could scare the boy off and the older didn’t want that.

“I love you, too,” after a second of silence Jungwoo said and smiled softly, all the worry and upset disappearing from his face. The younger got up and made his way to Doyoung, and sat in his lap.

Kissing Jungwoo was the best feeling in the entire world.


End file.
